Can we choose joy?
It's a question I've had on my mind, almost constantly, for at least the past 15 years of my life.
It seems I've unconcsiouly chosen pain, a lot more than I have joy.
I didn't mean to choose pain. I don't think anyone does.
I just made choices, day to day, that resulted in it.
So, how do I change? Can I change?
I look at my decision-making process and see that I've lived most of my life making choices because of family or fear.
Family, blood-related kin, often need me to be or do something that is not in my heart. I do it out of fear of
hurting them, fear of being judged uncaring, fear of judging myself as uncaring, fear of God judging me as uncaring.
How do I change? How do I choose joy?
Don't have an answer. It's enough for today to ask the question.